Relationship Holiday Hacks
The holidays are often pegged as a magical and joyful time of the year, but for many, they can also be filled with anxiety, stress, and relationship challenges. During the holidays, you’re often surrounded by a lot of people with a lot of differing opinions, values, and ways of doing things. This can lead to conflict and flat-out drain your energy. This year, we challenge you to keep YOUR energy and needs front of mind and apply these relationship holiday hacks so you can have a joy-filled holiday season (without the stress, overwhelm, and dread of being EVERYTHING to EVERYONE).
Expect the Expected
You know your family. Don’t pretend that you don’t. And yet every year, you’re surprised by their behaviour. But not this year! Expect the expected.
You know your sister or brother is going to get drunk and hit on your partner.
You know your kids are going to be ungrateful when they open the card with the $5 bill from your great grandparents.
You know your aunt is going to tell you the turkey is overcooked.
You know your dad is going to make a racist, sexist, ageist, or some type of “ist” comment and it’s going to cause a fight between you and your partner.
Holidays make us feel EVERYTHING in a magnified, deeper way, so expect that.
There’s this extreme and heightened expectation that this will be “The Most Wonderful Time of The Year,” but in reality, it can be stressful, chaotic, and overwhelming.
Don’t expect it to be a Hallmark movie… expect there to be chaos, be unsurprised by your predictable family, find humour in the craziness and remember, for some, it’s all about survival during the holiday season!
Find YOUR Joy
Find something that makes YOU happy during the holidays and do it! Really think about the parts of the holiday that light you up and bring you joy, and do more of THOSE things. It’s not selfish… it’s smart!
Maybe that’s escaping from your family and going to visit your best friend for a quick walk.
Maybe that’s finding time to sneak off and have a moment with your partner.
Maybe that’s taking time alone to read a book, have a bath, or get a workout in.
Maybe that’s ordering in on Christmas Eve.
Maybe that’s opening a present 5 days early - who says you can’t?
Maybe that’s going for a hike.
Maybe that’s blasting Christmas music and dancing.
Skip the obligations and all of the “shoulds” and do more of what makes YOU happy this holiday season… guilt-free.
Question the Traditions
Let’s be honest… some of the typical holiday traditions and family traditions kinda suck. The good news is, you don’t HAVE to participate in them! Gosh, the power of choice is so damn exhilarating, isn’t it?!
The holidays are so often about doing EVERYTHING for EVERYONE else, including people who have been dead for a long time, that treat you like crap, or that only speak to you during the holidays.
If your great grandmothers johnny cake recipe is really hard to follow and kinda disgusting, why are you still making it?
If you don’t want to leave the house on Christmas Day, then don’t go to the midnight mass just because you always have.
Don’t go to the light display across town because you always have.
Don’t go caroling at Aunt Susan’s just because you said you would 8 months ago.
Don’t stop in to visit at four different relative's’ homes just because they all invited you.
If you don’t want to get out of your jammies all day - DON’T!
Just Get Out
The last relationship holiday hack is to simply… get out. If you’re feeling triggered, put off, or disrespected by someone during the holidays, just get out. There is no sense in putting yourself through misery just to save face. Just because it’s the holidays, doesn’t mean YOUR needs should go to the wayside.
Go for a drive.
Take off early.
Offer to go pick up more snacks at the store.
Go to a different room and surround yourself with people that light you up.
Whatever you do, don’t stand for anything less than you deserve.
We wish you an amazing, relaxing holiday season filled with more JOY and less drama this year!
And just remember… if the gift of kick-ass relationships is what you REALLY want this year, don’t hesitate to book a call with us to see how we can work together to make your relationship dreams come true!