Love Language Deep Dive | Gifts and Physical Touch
We’re back for another edition of our Love Language / Love Style series! In our last blog post, we took a deep dive into words of affirmation and act of service. Today, we’re exploring two of our favourite love languages - gifts and physical touch. Plus, we’re also introducing you to the new “financial” love style, and just how important that can be for those that receive love in that way. Let’s get started!
The Love Language of Gifts: More Than Material
The act of giving and receiving gifts is a love language that is often looked down upon or misunderstood. Many people question whether material gifts can genuinely convey love, but to that, we say, hell yes they can! Gifts are actually one of Lindsay’s love languages!
When someone gets you a gift, it’s not about the price tag; it’s about the thought and the effort behind the gift. When your partner takes the time to understand what you would really love and that would bring you joy, and take action to surprise you with a thoughtful gift, it’s a genuine expression of love.
Whether it’s a planned gift or something spontaneous, their intention to bring you joy is what is so special about this love language.
If you love receiving beautifully wrapped packages, or even small gifts or tokens of affection, gifts may just be your love language, so own it and embrace it!
The Financial Love Style: A New Layer of Love
The 7 new love styles have introduced a financial aspect to our understanding of love languages, and we’re here for it! This love style is all about money and how you handle it, both individually and as a couple. This can be an essential factor for couples.
If you love talking about spreadsheets and budgets with your partner or if your partner’s financial considerations get you excited, then this is probably your love language.
This love style is actually very important, because finances are one of the biggest things that couples fight about.
Maybe you love when your partner invests in vacations or shows their generosity to others with their money. Or maybe you actually love their frugality and how serious they take spending your hard-earned money. Either way, if the way your partner spends money (or saves it) is important to you, you may align with the financial love style and this may have a significant impact on your relationship.
Having conversations about money and understanding its importance to your partner can lead to healthier financial discussions and decision-making.
Physical Touch: More Than Just Sex
To wrap up our love language / love style series, we’re diving into one of the most fundamental love languages… physical touch! This just so happens to be my (Lisa’s) love language. Traditionally, people associate physical touch with sex and the endgame, but it’s about so much more than that!
Physical touch is about ALL the small, everyday physical connections we make with our partners throughout the day and throughout our lives - the hugs, kisses, cuddles, playful touches, etc.
Not only is this a really important part of our physiology, and mental and physical health, but for some people, it’s the difference between having a “roommate” relationship with your partner or having an intimate, romantic relationship.
For some people, physical touch in all of these small and big ways is what fills their love tank. However, if it’s the ONLY way that you want to be loved by your partner, that can create tension in a relationship, because it puts pressure on the other partner to be physical, and for some, that’s NOT their love language.
We see this situation a lot in our work with clients. You can check out our other video all about this topic of mismatched sexual desire.
The Slow Burn of Desire
If you and your partner have different preferences when it comes to physical touch, it’s important to know when your partner wants to be touched and when they don’t. For some (Lindsay), they simply don’t want to be touched all the time, and when their partner wants to go from 0-90 without even connecting throughout the day before jumping into bed for sex, it can be a total turn-off.
Not everyone operates on spontaneous desire. Some need that slow burn of responsive desire before having sex.
They need to connect on an emotional level throughout the day and have opportunities for physical touch with no expectations. This can help bridge the gap in differing desires. It takes the pressure off the one partner to deliver every time they touch, because the pressure to have sex every time they touch can actually deter them from wanting any form of physical touch at all.
Just like with anything, being open to talking and communicating about it is key. The bottom line of this love language is that people want to feel attractive to their partner and they want to know that their partner is attracted to them, and physical touch is a great way to show that.
Understanding the love languages of gifts and financial compatibility and the intimacy of physical touch is crucial for having a connected, thriving relationship. Recognizing and respecting your partner’s love language and making efforts to show them love in the way they want to receive it can bring you closer together and ensure that both of your needs are being met.
If you’re ready to open the floodgates of communication and get on the same page as your partner, sign up for 1:1 coaching with us so we can get you talking and speaking each other’s love language for deeper connection!