Honouring Your Love Language for Deeper Connection
If you didn’t already know this about us, we are slightly (okay, A LOT!) obsessed with love languages. The love languages have been around for a while, but now, there’s some new love styles on the block. Whether you identify more with the 5 love languages or the 7 love styles, the same truth remains - love languages / love styles are like the window to someone’s heart. In this blog post, we’re diving into the concept of love languages and how understanding and honouring them in your relationship can lead to deeper connection. We’re even sharing some of our own quirky love styles. Let’s dive in!
Embracing The Quirky Ways You Want To Be Loved
When it comes to love languages, you can create your own quirky names for how you want to be loved. Want to know some of the unique ways we like to receive love?
One of my (Lisa’s) love languages is: share everything. I love to share everything with my partner, from possessions to thoughts to conversations and all the way to dinner entrees. To me, sharing is my way of feeling deeply connected and loved.
Another one of mine is: keep up. I am a fast-paced person, whether I’m walking, talking, or engaging in conversation. I thank my beautifully complex ADHD brain for that! It’s important for me that my partner can match my pace and keep up. It’s just part of my personality and I feel loved when my partner can stay in stride with me.
On the other hand, Lindsay has a rather unique love language called: don’t touch me. It seems contradictory to the popular love language of physical touch, but Lindsay’s twist on it involves respecting her boundaries and knowing WHEN she wants to be touched. It’s important to her for her partner to understand when to give her personal space and when to give her that physical touch and intimacy.
Gifts are another one of Lindsay’s love languages. She values thoughtful gestures and surprises. It shows that her partner has been thinking about her. Small tokens of affection make her feel special, loved, and appreciated.
Love languages can also be quite specific, like my love language of: make coffee for me. Who doesn’t love waking up to a warm cup of coffee?! Simple acts like this can make you feel cherished and cared for.
There are so many unique ways that you can feel loved, so make sure you recognize these and communicate them to your partner so THEY know how to give you love.
Exploring the New Love Styles
Gary Chapman’s original 5 love languages are widely known, however, over the years, there have been many new variations and interpretations of these. We actually love the concept of the 7 new love styles. No matter which version you connect more with, the same truth remains - love languages provide a window into people’s hearts and show you how to fill their “love tank.”
So many people actually think about love languages backwards. Love languages aren’t about how you GIVE love… they’re about how you want to RECEIVE it. Understanding your own love languages and those of your partner is key, but beyond that, you have to communicate them effectively so your partner KNOWS how to give you love. They’re not mind-readers, so spell it out for them!
Now, love languages aren’t a fix-all if you’re facing challenges in your relationship, but they’re a great tool to foster deeper connection in your relationship.
Embracing New Love Styles
One of the reasons why we love the 7 new love styles is for the addition of 2 love styles that the OG 5 love languages are missing: emotional and intellectual.
Emotional Love Style
The emotional love style focuses on feeling emotionally safe and being able to be vulnerable and share your feelings with your partner. It’s about knowing that your partner has your back at all times and can be there for you, hold you, and engage in those heartfelt conversations. When people say, “my partner is my rock,” this is the love style that mirrors that.
Intellectual Love Style
The intellectual love style is the idea of the meeting of the minds. It’s about discussing various topics with your partner, seeking their opinion, and engaging in deep conversations without judgment. This love style values creating space to have deep, meaningful conversations that are important to you. For some couples, this love style helps them get back to those deep conversations they once had, before kids, parenting, and school pick-up schedules took over their life. Engaging in intellectual conversations can remind you of why you fell in love in the first place, for your partner’s brain, their passions, and their interest in certain topics.
All in all, understanding and honouring your love languages / love styles is vital for building deeper connections in your relationship and giving your partner love in the way that they want to receive it. By communicating how you desire to receive love, you can create more love and intention in your relationship.