We’ve all heard of the “honeymoon phase,” that first 6 months or so of marriage where there’s fiery passion and the sex is steamy. While many couples keep this fire lit, others find the flames start to go out and their sex life struggles as the years go by. Luckily, there are a ton of ways that you can reignite your sex life and keep things fresh, fun, and passionate in the bedroom (or wherever you like to get down!). Read on to learn how to revive your sex life and keep the fire burning for years to come!

How to Revive Your Sex Life

If you’re in a sex rut in your relationship, or you simply want to continue to improve it and keep that passion alive, looking into ways to revive your sex life is key! It’s just like with anything - being a lifelong learner is always beneficial! Keep sexuality, desires, and intimacy in your normal conversations with your partner so it’s not something you look at as “taboo” or awkward to talk about. The more you talk about it and listen to each other’s desires, the more comfortable you’ll be getting intimate and trying new things when it’s time to shake it up. Here are a few ideas for reigniting your sex life, no matter how long you’ve been together!

Don’t Put Stress On Having Sex Daily

This can be exhausting and end up feeling like something else you have to check off the to-do list. Sex shouldn’t feel like a chore, but something you want to do with your partner to show your love and stay connected. While couples that are physically intimate more often tend to be happier, research shows that couples that have sex once per week are just as happy as those that have sex multiple times per week. It’s all about quality sex over quantity! So don’t feel like you have to make a schedule and get it on 5-6 times a week (like a strict workout routine!). 

Sharing Responsibilities = More Sex

Ladies, can you think of anything sexier than coming home to your man doing the dishes, cooking a meal, or cleaning up around the house? We think not! So often, women are overwhelmed with all of the duties that fall on their plate - caring for the kids, working, keeping up the house, cooking the meals, managing the calendar, carpool pick-ups, working out, eating healthy, drinking enough water, and more. When everything falls on your shoulders and your man doesn’t step in to help, it can lead to feelings of resentment (and honestly, it can be a turn off!). If you want to revive your sex life, men (we’re talking to you!), you have to step up! Share the responsibilities (without always being asked) and trust us, you’ll reap the sexual benefits! 

Tune Into Each Other’s Love Languages

If you want to increase the frequency and connection during sex, tuning into each other’s love languages is key! Your partner will feel more seen, heard, loved, appreciated, and turned on when you show them love in the way that they desire to receive it. Even if physical touch isn’t their love language, by showing them love in the way they desire, whether gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, etc, they’ll be more likely to WANT to be intimate with you because they feel more connected.  

Focus on Emotional Intimacy

If you’ve been following us for a while, you know how obsessed we are with emotional intimacy! In fact, we have a whole blog post about physical intimacy vs. emotional intimacy! The truth is, sex doesn’t always start with physical intimacy, like kisses, hugs, or butt slaps. It often is sparked by those moments of being deeply connected, having great conversation, and being emotionally intimate with one another. When a couple has that quality time together to truly connect and communicate about their needs, desires, and what’s going on in their life, they develop a deeper sense of trust, connection, and love. Just think… you likely don’t want to jump in bed and have sex with your partner if you don’t remember the last time you had a one-on-one conversation about something other than what’s for dinner, who’s taking the kids to school, or what bills need to be paid. So focus on taking time to bond, to be emotionally intimate, and tell each other “I love you.” Emotional intimacy is a prerequisite to AMAZING sex. 

Spice Things Up 

One of the biggest killers of a spicy, fun sex life is mismatched sexual desire between partners. This can lead to getting stuck in a sex rut or not knowing what each partner truly desires out of sex. After years of being together, it can be easy to make sex a “routine,” where everything is the same, every single time. If you really want to revive your sex life, grab a glass of wine, jump in the bath together, and talk about new positions you’d like to try or fun ways that you fantasize being intimate with them. Then… go try them! Just don’t forget to recap it afterwards so you know what to do more of and what to scrap for next time. Sex conversations don’t have to be awkward - they can be incredibly powerful (and hot!). 

Prioritize Date Night

We know how hard it can be to prioritize date nights as a couple when you’re so busy with careers, family, and all the other responsibilities on your plate. However, making that intentional time to spend together as a couple is key to increasing your emotional intimacy (and therefore, your physical intimacy!). Whether you book a babysitter, have a lunch date while the kids are at school, or do a date night in after bedtime, don’t skip this! Intentional time together is key to getting reconnecting and reigniting your sex life. 

Reignite Your Sex Life

We hope this blog post has given you some ideas and ways to make sex a fun and exciting experience with your partner that leads to lasting connection and intimacy. If you’re looking for more support in starting the conversation about sex, check out our Yes, No, Let’s Talk free resource to get the “sex talk” going! 

Ready to jump right in and reignite your sex life and intimacy as a whole? We’ve got you covered in our Refuel the Intimacy course, where we’ll dive into the importance of focusing on BOTH emotional and physical intimacy and walk you through the secrets to having a close and connected relationship (and burning hot sex life!).